Happy New Year

Wishing you all the best for a peaceful, healthy, happy 2011.

Holiday Pounds

I've been very low energy for over a month now. The doc has changed my anti-depressant thinking that may make a difference in my energy level. Sure hope so.

I did have a quiet holiday week. We had a nice fire for the Solstice.

When I stepped on the scale Monday, I was reminded of how easy it is to gain weight, three pounds in one week, when I don't pay attention to my eating.  This year, for the first time in a decade, I'm making a new year's resolution. And it will be one I've tried many other years: Lose weight. Now I just have to get back on track with the behavior modification. Practicing my positive and encouraging self-talk.

What are you up to?

Time for something pretty

This is a painting by local artist Allison Reed

Bingeing

I am over eating. I am eating without thought. I'm trying to stop it.
I'm trying to look at the thoughts in my head. To find a way to feel the feeling the eating is hiding.  My first thought is that I'm not fond of Christmas and it's nearly here. But I have no obligations for Christmas, so why would that be an issue?

Mostly, I'm over-eating carbs, they seems to encourage the binge onwards. Popcorn, chocolate covered figs, hot cocoa, baguette, mint filled chocolate candy.

Was it the fact that I lost 11 pounds on the doc's scale, so I'm celebrating? 
Or is it that she didn't even mention the weight loss, which she recommended?  She was so excited my a1c was 6.2 (this means the diabetes is under control) that she missed the other reasons I was seeing her.

Today, I have been able to stop it, but for a little while the other night, I was a little scared that I might never stop eating. I have to say there was comfort in the physical over-fullness. Comfort in the familiarity of it. It's almost like a hug from inside. That pressure. Then I allowed mysef to tune into the discomfort of the fullness. It was right there, pushing into my middle, my chest and stomach and abdomen. When closely watched, I could differentiate between the comfort and the dis-comfort. That ability to see/feel the whole picture is what I'm trying to find in the cognitive therapy approach to weight loss.

Any one else want to talk about a recent binge?

from Judith Beck:

"Get Back on Track
If I have eaten something I shouldn't, I haven't blown it. It's not the end of the world. I can start following my plan again right this minute. Just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I should go on eating. That makes no sense. It's a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more."

Another note to write on an index card and keep handy.

Imagination diet article

diet with your imagination

I have actually been trying this. When I eat something I know I can't eat often, I sit and feel the enjoyment of it, so i can conjure it up at another time without actually putting anything in my mouth.

3. Eat Sitting down

Three little words.  When I read them about a month ago and said, I usually eat sitting down.  I thought: piece of cake.  WRONG!!  And I’ve been noticing that I eat standing up more and more, but today, I realized, I’m probably not doing it more, I’m NOTICING it more.

I was hoping that I was still a week or two away from this. Just yesterday, I said to myself. Yikes, I’m eating standing up again. How can I accommodate this behavior into my life. Luckily, I’m still 11 days away from the day I commit to this new eating plan, so I have time to make several strategies.

Since a lot of my eating while standing is during cooking and tasting,  I figured I could put a stool near the stove and sit down to taste. But I don’t really have room for that. I’ll need to walk into the dining room.

Just  being aware that I’m doing it is a start.  I’ve put up two signs in the kitchen to remind me. I’m also going to sit down before I finish chewing what’s in my mouth if I find I’m standing and eating again.This is much more of a challenge than I expected.

One of the things I like about Judith Beck's Book is the “What are you thinking?” section in each chapter. It helps you counteract sabotaging thoughts. I guess this is the cognitive therapy part.

Here’s one of her responses that I’ll be putting on a card and reading twice a day.

“”Just this one time” is NOT OK. I have to face the fact that I can’t lose weight and keep it off if I refuse to change my habit”  – in this case, eating while standing.

Are any of you going to try this? Let me know what you discover.

2. Pick TWO Reasonable Diets

Pick two reasonable diets. Two because it's always a good idea to have a back-up plan BEFORE the crisis hits. Both must be healthy, include foods I like to eat and prepare, has flexibility and allows me to budget for indulgences.

This is harder than #1. I hate writing everything down and counting calories, so I'll make that my default. I've been doing pretty well with the divided plate approach, so that's my number 1.

 1. Divided plate – ½ fruits and/or veggies, ¼ whole grains, ¼ protein 

 2. Counting calories with the Diet analysis program I have is my second choice if the first one stops working for me.

There are so many diets and eating plans to choose from. Let me know which ones make sense to you.

Sheri asked me to talk a bit about my idea about indulgences. I'm not doing this yet, but I've been talking about it for years. Allow myself to have a special food treat two days a month. The days I pick will be the 11th and the 30th because those are the dates of Vinnie's and my birthdays when we are going to indulge anyway. Isn't it nice how they are spaced out so well.

I'm still at the place that Maggie talked about: Not stopping easily when I eat a "gateway"  or trigger food. For me that's definitely chips and cheese curls which have not come into the house for three months now. I feel pretty good about that, and hey I know that's a big part of losing the first 10 pounds.  It's also white flour. Luckily, I've never been a pastry fan and I like whole grains. But pasta, Mmmmm, I love pasta. I haven't found a whole grain one I like. Yet. And I'm trying to keep a serving to 1/2 a cup. I said trying, so far, I'm not even close. But isn't that why I'm doing this cognitive therapy approach? To help me find a way to be happy with eating the correct amount of food for my body. YES. I can do this. We can do this.

Thanks for your support.

1. Record the Advantages of Losing Weight

This is the first exercise in the Beck Diet Solution

1. Reasons I want to lose weight                                   
1. I’ll feel better.                                                                                          
2. I’ll wear a smaller size                                                                  
3. I’ll do more things                                                                                    
4. I’ll look better                                                                                       
5. I’ll fit into cute clothes                                                       
   
6. I’ll be able to take long walks regularly         
7. I’ll have more energy                                                                            
8. I’ll feel like I’ve accomplished something important                              
9. I’ll be proud of myself                                                       
   
10. The diabetes could go away.                                                       
    
11. I’ll sleep better                                                                           
12. I’ll have less aches and pains                                                        
    
13. I’ll feel good when I don’t overeat                                                      
14. I’ll fit in an airplane seat comfortably                                                         

 Next, I'll put these on 3 x 5 cards and read each one twice a day for a long time

First steps

Monday was an exciting day.
It's weigh day and I've lost 10 pounds in the last three months!!! I'm thrilled because though I gave up chips and sausage, I'm still eating chocolate. A nice surprise. I'm doing a bit more exercise, but not 30 minutes most days as I keep reading.

I've put a few more touches on this, my first blog, so I can send it out and share with you, my friends. I've set it up, so you don't have to register to leave a comment and I hope you feel feel free to comment often.

Bob's friend Selene recommended "the Beck diet solution" and it sounds like what I'm looking for.... motivation. I'm starting the program this week. It has 42 steps to help me retrain myself to eat differently. As an over-eater, I do need to learn a new ways of eating, to have a different relationship with food. The first dozen exercises are to get me ready to change my ways. For me this is effective. It's how I quit smoking 20 odd years ago. Prepare for a quitting date.

In a nutshell, her approach consists of reading affirmations and reminders that I prepare myself to help me change my self talk into a more positive or less destructive behavior, like compulsive eating. I call it behavior modification, but Judith Beck calls it cognitive therapy.
So, away we go..................

Getting started

Freckles and I walked along the Eel River for the second day in a row. All the rain barely made the river rise today, but it is moving faster.

I'm trying out a blog so I can write more often about my changing relationship with food.