I'm trying to look at the thoughts in my head. To find a way to feel the feeling the eating is hiding. My first thought is that I'm not fond of Christmas and it's nearly here. But I have no obligations for Christmas, so why would that be an issue?
Mostly, I'm over-eating carbs, they seems to encourage the binge onwards. Popcorn, chocolate covered figs, hot cocoa, baguette, mint filled chocolate candy.
Was it the fact that I lost 11 pounds on the doc's scale, so I'm celebrating?
Or is it that she didn't even mention the weight loss, which she recommended? She was so excited my a1c was 6.2 (this means the diabetes is under control) that she missed the other reasons I was seeing her.
Today, I have been able to stop it, but for a little while the other night, I was a little scared that I might never stop eating. I have to say there was comfort in the physical over-fullness. Comfort in the familiarity of it. It's almost like a hug from inside. That pressure. Then I allowed mysef to tune into the discomfort of the fullness. It was right there, pushing into my middle, my chest and stomach and abdomen. When closely watched, I could differentiate between the comfort and the dis-comfort. That ability to see/feel the whole picture is what I'm trying to find in the cognitive therapy approach to weight loss.
Any one else want to talk about a recent binge?
from Judith Beck:
"Get Back on TrackIf I have eaten something I shouldn't, I haven't blown it. It's not the end of the world. I can start following my plan again right this minute. Just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I should go on eating. That makes no sense. It's a million times better to stop now than to allow myself to eat more."
Another note to write on an index card and keep handy.
Thanks Debbi. You've very precisely described 'the great feeling' and then the discomfort. For me,I start binge eating 99% of the time when I'm alone and after 8:00PM. Trying to go to bed earlier or replace this with another calming activity or reward.
ReplyDeleteMaggie,
ReplyDeleteI have to agree that my eating demon seems to show up late in the day, too. My friend Grace said she's never seen me overeat, so maybe I should always eat with people. Oh, if that were possible.
Binging does seem to be a very private act, doesn't it?